Episode 7: What are weak ties and why are they important?

The importance of the casual relationship with your barista

Hey Friend, 

I was invited to a dinner party on Monday evening. A couple who both work in tech host monthly gatherings in their apartment with cool people that they meet. Aside from me, there were five others at the table and everyone took interest in this project—52 Friends. 

This is also the first week that I’m feeling a bit tired. I’ve been working heavily on all things friendship since the beginning of January and sometimes I wish I could spend a month solely deepening connections with my closest friends. Then I remember the impact that my work is having and I’m motivated to keep going. 

In our lives, we’ll ultimately meet a lot of people. Not all of them will be close friends or even friends but they may be what is called weak ties. Weak ties are casual acquaintances—the local barista, your doorman, people who you see in the swimming pool change room. 

In 1973 a paper by a sociology professor at Stanford University titled The Strength of Weak Ties was published. The professor, Mark Granovetter, showed that the outer circles of acquaintances that you don’t see often matter. These weak ties could actually be more important than strong ones. 

Granvotter conducted a survey in Boston and found that 282 of the city-based workers had landed their job through someone they knew, more precisely 84% found their job through a weak-tie relationship. We rely on people outside our immediate circle to bring us news of opportunities and useful information and so the more of these casual connections we have, the better.  

I recently connected with Shira Smith Bloomfield, a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) based out of Toronto. We spoke about the benefits of weak ties and she shared that they create feelings of belonging and community. We should look for weak ties in places like online/in-real-life crossovers like nextdoor.com, meetup.com, and Facebook local groups. Even the public library, volunteer jobs, and local sidewalks, streets, and parks act as great places to widen our circles. 

At dinner earlier this week, someone brought forward the concept of the 15-minute city. It’s the idea that everyone should have access to essential urban services within a 15-minute walk or bike. Paris, most notably, has been trying to apply the model by adding bike lanes, and walking paths—cutting commutes in half for some.

Outside of Toronto, where I live, the idea of the 15-minute city seems almost impossible. Still, I make an effort to walk for coffee instead of driving, and if I’m lucky I make small talk with a neighbor along the way. 

~ Miriam

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If you’re looking to connect with Shira Smith Bloomfield (she/her), her contact information can be found here: shira@bloomfieldpsychotherapy.ca