Friend #23 - Kirsten
The girl from drama class
Kirsten, remember when I made you play a Jewish boy? We’re having fun on Instagram! @52.Friends.
I reconnected with Kirsten two weeks ago and I’ve reflected on our conversation every day since. She is refreshing and always wise.
The two of us met as ninth-grade drama students. I gravitated toward the way she thought—I think she took interest in my manner of high output.
My intrigue in speaking to her was triggered by a message she sent me after she saw my post with our high school history teacher, Mr. Shaw, Friend #19. “You captured Mr. Shaw’s deep whimsy so well—what a joy to reconnect with him!” Kirsten wrote.
I knew that Kirsten took an untraditional path post-high school graduation. She volunteered in New Zealand and then at a refugee camp in Greece for eight weeks in 2016. “To think that it has been seven years is incredible,” she says as we speak on Zoom from my home outside of Toronto and hers in Ottawa.
She describes her time volunteering at the Moria refugee camp as stressful and scary at times but credits it with affirming that she wanted to study political science.
In Greece, she became frustrated by the way people spoke about refugees and believed that the whole system needed to change. “NGOs and even the UN are providing aid but they’re not addressing the root cause,” Kirsten says.
In March 2020, she applied to a program that was run by the United Nations (UN) called the Youth Champions for Disarmament. Kirsten was chosen to participate as one of ten people from an application pool of over 6,500 and was the only representative from North America. “It was only intended to be a six-week program but it was two full years long,” she says.
She’s had a lot of really great opportunities through the UN including writing a book that was an intersectional guide to disarmament and traveling to both New York and Geneva to tour the UN.
Currently, she works for Global Affairs Canada as a policy officer in the Non-proliferation and Disarmament Division. “There are no nuclear weapons stationed in Canada,” Kirsten explains. She’s been able to take a lead on projects that tackle topics like weapons in outer space and also travels to Geneva often.
“Do you see yourself doing anything else?” I ask her.
“I think it would be cool to work at a Canadian embassy but I have a husband. It’s not just me,” says Kirsten.
Kirsten met her husband, Jeremy, while volunteering in New Zealand. He’s originally from California and they dated long-distance before getting married in 2018. “I told him ‘if you want to be with me, you’ll have to go to university.’ So his move to Canada basically meant both getting a degree and marriage,” Kirsten says with a laugh.
“How’s your sister?” I ask.
“She’s an actress and stayed in Halifax after studying at Dalhousie,” she says.
We both reflect on how drama had been a significant part of our high school experiences. Theatre and acting in many ways come with a built-in community. One filled with people passionate about their craft and happy to share in success.
“I do a lot of public speaking,” Kirsten says. “And so that is how I use the drama skills but after high school, I’ve used my creativity to make furniture or to create DIY projects.”
She admits that because she got married young, she became an adult quickly. It was her and Jeremy’s shared faith that led them to decide they wanted to be together. “In the last three years we’ve changed in a lot of ways with faith, we’re more progressive and inclusive,” she says. “We met in a conservative Christian environment but we made that change together.”
“If someone is mean to us, what’s the Christian view on that?” I ask Kirsten.
“The Christian view is that everyone is made in the image of God and therefore we must find the good in people because everyone is loved by someone. But the Bible also talks about accountability and it bothers me when people don’t push for justice,” she tells me. “God is a God of justice.”
In university, the church that Kirsten attended was frequented by Mennonites. “They’re pacifists,” she says. “Their view shaped my view on violence. Violence is rarely justified.”
“Do you think that people are hard to hate up close? I mean, when we spend time with someone, even if we find them unlikeable, do we begin to like them?” I ask.
“I think so, but at the same time, you need to protect yourself and value yourself. If I think someone has the capacity to hurt me, I’m not going to be a good friend to them,” Kirsten says.
There is a looming question—are there good actions that don’t have selfish motives?
Kirsten says she feels a responsibility as a human to help people but understands that her time in Greece could also be associated with the white savior trope. Her work makes her feel good about herself and volunteering inevitably helped her land a job in government that pays her well.
This is what I think—if you are good, people will always accuse you of ulterior motives, do good anyway.
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”
―Matthew 25:40
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