Friend #3 - Zeenath
My Miami Bumble BFF is engaged, visits Toronto and graduates medical school
Click here to read how our friendship started three years ago.
Three years ago, friend #3, Zeenath, and I matched on Bumble BFF. We had a quick conversation on the app, then went out for a night in Miami.
Though we only had a few weeks to spend as friends, I still remember feeling like our connection was far from immaterial. We spoke of our families, relationships and divulged secrets over dinners.
We’ve yet to be in the same place at the same time since then, but have caught up over video calls—staying up-to-date on the gist of one another’s lives.
It’s funny that friends come to act as souvenirs (I hesitated to use the word) of specific chapters— “October to November of 2022”.
Earlier this year, near Valentine’s Day, Zeenath and her childhood friend took a quick, spontaneous trip to Toronto, and I was happy to be included in her plans. We drank coffee at a café near the St. Lawrence Market, and it felt as if no time had passed.
I credit our swift reconnection to Zeenath’s charmingly warm personality. She shares her Myers-Briggs with the Michael Scott.
“I feel like I’ve finally settled into the resident doctor role,” she says. “I’m lucky to have my friends nearby so I can see them whenever I want or have time to. The longest-lasting and worthwhile friends are the ones that understand your schedule and never hold it against you if you have to reschedule or if you haven’t seen them in months or don’t respond to their text messages in a timely manner.”
“Have you developed friendships with coworkers because you spend a lot of time with them?” I ask.
“Yes, I spend lots of time with coworkers at work. Especially since most are not from the area, and since residency is very rigorous and time-consuming, we almost naturally form a trauma bond. Maybe we’ll go on a walk in the sunshine if we have a few spare minutes or grab a quick snack. The biggest bonds are formed during night shifts when staff is sparse and patients are stable. We watch Gossip Girl and order DoorDash. Those times are the most memorable,” she says.
Our closeness with our parents first bonded us in Miami. “My parents and I talk to each other and joke as friends,” she says.
We fall into discussing matchmaking and the pressure to find a partner. Something common in both Indian and Jewish culture. “What is your current stance on it?” I ask Zeenath.
“I have a complicated answer. Sometimes it can be nerve-racking, depending on who the matchmaker is, whether it’s your parents or someone else. It’s almost a gamble just how online dating is, but I feel that matchmacking takes into perspective the qualities that you’re looking for. I’m super resistant, but sometimes you never know.”
She revealed, in secret, that she had recently been seeing someone new whom she’d met through mathmaking. “Don’t share anything about that,” she made me promise.
Months later, in June, she was engaged.
“Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow.”
― Anita Desai