Friend #40 - Samia
A tech friend
Samia and I first connected on LinkedIn a few weeks ago. Last Tuesday, I ended up in the living room of her downtown Toronto condo. “I can’t believe you make friends on LinkedIn,” my brother often tells me.
We were filming a video for her Youtube series which I’ve linked here. Samia is currently on maternity leave and uses the videos as a chance to reconnect with colleagues and friends. “It’s a nice way to stay up-to-date on people’s lives,” she says.
Our video, which she has yet to post, worked a little differently. I flipped the script on Samia and asked her what it’s like to balance motherhood and friendship as well as discover her identity in this new chapter.
Samia admits that most of her time is focused on her baby and that a lot of her friends are also new mothers—meaning that they enjoy spending time talking about their kids. “But it’s nice to have friends to talk to about other topics like tech,” she says.
Her identity is not something that she consciously thinks about but Samia notes that she definitely acknowledges her new role and the responsibilities and lifestyle that come with it.
I think of my mother throughout our conversation. My mom had me at 23 and lost her mother just before she found out she was pregnant with me. I can’t help but think of what a difficult time that must have been—balancing motherhood, grief, and being a new immigrant to Canada.
Samia is lucky to have her family’s support. She and her husband are actually looking to relocate to be closer to their parents.
I recently told my mom that I predict that the concept of grandparents will begin to disappear because people are having children later in life. While grandparents use to take on the role of a second set of caregivers, they may become more monumental figures.
Regardless, it’s important for children to learn the importance of developing close relationships with a variety of different people.
When I started this project, I often asked myself what the solution to loneliness is. I looked for it in research and in the conversations I was having. Now, with greater understanding, I know that it’s a silly question. Loneliness is like hunger and thirst or joy and sadness. It will always come and go. Unless of course, it becomes chronic which is a more complex topic.
Still, Ami Rokach, a clinical psychologist who I often mention, advocates for the importance of children learning to play together. To be inclusive of one another. And it is within that inclusivity that friendship and community occur.
“Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”
— Meryl Streep
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