Friend #46 - Darren
A friend from the park
Hey friends, I’m starting a new column called Dear Friend. Write to me with your questions surrounding loneliness and friendship and I’ll answer them in my next newsletter. I’ll only include your first name and any pictures that you send. Please write all letters to my email: miriamsamdur@gmail.com.
Darren is a neighbourhood friend. My mom and I often see him walking his dog—Stuart. “Before him, we had a dog named Jesse,” he tells me. Jesse was Darren’s favourite and throughout his lifetime he’s had four dogs. The last three were golden retrievers.
Growing up in Richmond Hill, Darren, now in his 40s, liked going to school in the area. “Except for grade six and high school. Those weren’t so good,” he says and explains that it was either due to teachers or classmates who he didn’t consider nice.
“How would you describe someone nice?” I ask.
“Somebody who’s patient with nice manners,” he says.
Darren goes on to say that he didn’t have a lot of friends at school but fondly remembers a friendship from his primary years with a girl who has since passed away. “We were like brother and sister,” he says.
There are a lot of people within our Richmond Hill ward that Darren also praises as friendly but he shares, honestly, that he’s never felt bored. “I have my computer and video games. I go on Facebook,” he says.
Evidently, he also spends time with Stuart. Going for walks. Cuddling.
“I like spending time with my mom,” Darren says. “I live with my mom and so we spend most of the day together.”
“I’m a very private and quiet person,” he continues. “As we’ve been sitting here, it takes me a while to speak and it’s actually been that way for most of my life.”
Darren likes to feel included in conversations. “I have a few really nice people that I know with dogs who I speak to,” he says and admits that he finds it easier to chat with certain people when his mom isn’t around.
“I wish that I had more friends that lived around here but I see some of them on Facebook. I’m probably never going to see them in person,” Darren says and goes on to mention that he suffers from severe anxiety which makes him anxious around people.
“The only person who I really feel comfortable talking to is my mom,” he says.
By my observation, Darren carries himself with positivity. “Try not to let things bother you,” he notes as a piece of advice.
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”
— Christopher Robin
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