The Opposite of Loneliness

I know someone is waiting for me somewhere

Hey friend,

Some might say that the opposite of loneliness is knowing how to be alone. Others may define it as having a close group of friends. For some, it could be feeling a sense of belonging at work. For me, it is knowing someone is waiting for me somewhere.

Usually that someone is my Yiddishe Mamme but it could be a sibling, friends, a lover—people I have yet to meet. If there isn’t someone waiting somewhere, I find myself longing to know that I am significant in another’s routine. Still, most of us rarely show gratitude for the mundane until something changes.

My maternal grandfather passed away in June 2023. My mom, dad, brother, and I were on a train between mountain villages in Switzerland when we received the news. I was capturing a paradise-like view with my phone’s camera.

My grandpa, Gregory or Grisha as he was more commonly known had been sick for over a decade. The doctor once told him that he was a model patient—staying in the last stage of his diagnosis for years longer than expected.  

His passing was neither unexpected nor overly somber. My grandpa had a humoristic perseverance that would never let illness define him and despite suffering physically, he understood who he was until his last breath. A risk-taker who enjoyed ice cream as one of his final meals. A dentist by profession who once wiggled out one of my baby teeth. A man I never fully knew but who my mom phoned almost daily—never memorizing his phone number but opening our phone book and dialing out of practice.

A call she still makes to check up on her father’s widowed wife, Lydia. His wife is seventeen years his junior and dedicated the majority of her time to caring for him.

Recently Lydia reminded my mother that she loved being married to her father, sharing about a time she came home late from school to find Grisha waiting for her with a dinner he had prepared. “I never had that in my first marriage,” said Lydia.

My mom snuck ice cream into the hospital before our trip to Switzerland. “He’s not supposed to eat solids,” the nurse said but my mom raised by a rule breaker knew that this was a time to break one. 

Before I sign off for the next little while, I’d like to leave you all with a reminder, the reason I started this project—check up on people, someone is waiting for you somewhere.

Love,

Miriam