Is Risk Essential to Building Relationships?
Psychics and pursing the unknown ft. my facialist Katia
Hey friend,
In November 2021, I visited a psychic while I was living in Miami. Her phone number was displayed on a large sign that I walked by almost daily and eventually I gave into the temptation of calling her.
She was a pretty woman and broke the stereotype I had for the types of people who told futures. In January, confused as to why nothing the psychic had told me was coming true, I fell into the inevitable trap and phoned another psychic. I wrote down what this one told me.
“I see you with scissors,” she said. “Beginning last year and until 2024, I see people entering and exiting your life. You’ll form new relationships and end ones that you never thought you would.”
That seemed believable. Maybe she predicted my project. Maybe she sensed that I was in a period of sadness trying to mitigate risk and find clarity.
This weekend, I went for lunch with my facialist Katia. I’ve known her for about three years and because of the frequency of my appointments and our openness with one another, I now know her as my friend.
Katia immigrated to Canada from Russia for love but her husband ended their marriage unexpectedly after less than two years—leaving her for his female best friend.
“We never know where a relationship will go,” Katia says. Explaining that she didn’t expect to get divorced but that the relationship was necessary for her to become who she is today.
Is risk essential to building relationships? Probably.
In friendship, there is less at stake than in love but I think it is the willingness to try that makes love, romantic or platonic, what it is.
When I was 22, I sat with my mom in the parking lot of my grandpa’s condo. I was about to message a boy that I liked asking him out for a drink. I cried after I pressed send fearing what the person on the other end of the message would think, but regardless of how the situation panned out, it gave me the courage to do it again.
When I made it my goal to make 52 friends over the course of a year, I’ll admit that I had a platform that allowed me to reach out to people. If I asked someone for coffee and they declined the offer, I assumed it was because they didn’t want to be featured on the blog—it was nothing personal.
I became comfortable reaching out and I do think that being social is like practicing a sport but having somewhere to share my interactions did make things easier.
As we work toward our monthly prompt of reaching out to an old friend, use 52 Friends as a conversation starter.
“Hey friend,
It’s been so long since we last spoke! I’m working on a project through 52 Friends where each month I am making it my goal to prioritize friendship. This month, I am reaching out to an old friend. (Insert shared experience or share a photo).
It would be great to catch up over the phone or get coffee one day!”
Let me know if you have questions. I’d be happy to answer them in the comments.
Until next week.
Love,
Miriam
In Case You Missed It
Reintroducing 52 Friends. I'll explain our collective project for the next year.
The Relationship Between Friendship and Memory. An explanation by University of Toronto Psychology Professor Steve Joordens
Loved to read it !